


Who is That Ben Hargreeves Guy?

by MissHowdoyoudo



Series: Wish It Were Me [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves is Alive, Ben Hargreeves' Tentacles | Bentacles, Ben Lives/Klaus Dies, Blood and Gore, Dead Klaus Hargreeves, Dr. Lewis is a bad bitch, Gen, Human Experimentation, Mental Institutions, Misgendering, Schizophrenia who?, but the misgendering isn't explicitly said, more implied than anything - Freeform, not my department
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26886124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHowdoyoudo/pseuds/MissHowdoyoudo
Summary: A series of one shot POVs for members of the staff at St. Gertrude's Hospital for the Mentally Unwell, focusing around that weird Ben Hargreeves kid. Also, are we seeing things, or is there a floating child in the hallway?(Final chapter is Klaus's POV as he finds Vanya's letter. There's also another Reggie journal entry)
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Original Male Character(s), Klaus Hargreeves & Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character & Original Male Character
Series: Wish It Were Me [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852501
Comments: 79
Kudos: 175





	1. Amanda

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't updated this in like two months! Promise I have not left this one behind, I just update a lot more sporadically. Thank you for your patience <3  
> TW: Mentioned that Amanda's little sibling tried to kill themselves. Implied, but not heavy on explanation. Also, misgendering happens this chapter (though they aren't outed thanks to the help of sionnachesSkulk, tysm). Amanda tries her best. Stay safe babes <3

Amanda had been volunteering at the St. Gertrude’s Hospital for the Mentally Unwell for a couple of years now. She started when her sibling had an episode and hurt themself and was sent to the hospital, where they slowly helped them recover over time. It was an uphill battle, and there were times when they both thought they wouldn’t make it.

It was soon after that she discovered she had been calling her sibling the wrong name and gender their whole lives. They were non binary, and their name had been Gin, and wasn’t _that_ something she had to wrap her head around.

Gin liked their hair long and braided in cornrows, all the way to their waist. They liked constantly wearing their Star of David necklace that Mom had given for their fifth birthday. They liked the glitter band aids that the doctors gave them.

(One time, before Gin was sent to the hospital, they confessed they liked the control they had over themself. The scars that remained hidden under long sleeve shirts still scared her to this day.)

Since Gin was in the hospital, Amanda had visited in hopes to create a stronger bond with her sibling. She wasn’t the best to them when children, and it only highlighted how far apart they had become when Gin had almost died.

(Kitchen knife on cold tiles. Blood pouring down the bathtub drain. They're dead they're dead they're _dead_ \--)

It wasn’t long before she decided to help around the place as a volunteer. Heavens knew the poor staff needed it.

She was greeted at the front door as usual, by Lina, the new receptionist. Lina tossed her a volunteer badge and gave her a once over.

“You don’t look so hot this morning,” she said, brown curls bouncing as she turned about for a cup of something. “Need a boost?”

Amanda took the coffee with a grateful smile and a slender dark hand. The beverage warmed her from the morning chill and she let out a long sigh.

“Better?”

Amanda nodded. “Thanks. Nasty hangover.”

“Ah,” Lina nodded. “Party too hard?”

She laughed. “Nope. Just a bit too much wine while watching my soaps.”

“You need to get out more, girl.” Lina shook her head sympathetically. “Spending too much time cooped up will make you bonkers.”

With a shrug, Amanda hefted her bag further up her shoulder. “I have no idea what to do once I get outside. I prefer the indoors, really.”

The other snorted. “So different from your sibling. Gin can’t get enough of the outside when they’re allowed.”

“I know,” Amanda smiled softly. “◼ really does, ever since we were kids.”

“Them,” Lina politely reminded, much to Amanda’s embarrassment.

“Right, them. Sorry.”

Lina hesitated for a second, and Amanda shifted to her other foot patiently. She didn’t want to leave just yet, wondering what Lina had to say. 

“And your parents?” Lina asked quietly, as though afraid to be heard. “How are they doing?”

A cold pit settled in Amanda’s stomach, and suddenly the coffee wasn’t so warm. “They’re . . . adjusting. They still refuse to contact Gin, and Dad especially doesn’t want anything to do with them. It’s . . . a lot. Mom visits me sometimes, to stay in touch, but she mostly complains about Gin and their choices and sometimes I wish she would just come to talk about other things. It’s getting to be really stressful.”

“I’m sorry,” Lina sympathized, and Amanda could tell that she was from the way her eyes grew soft and worried. Amanda shook her head.

“It’s not your fault. Thank you, though.”

The smile returned, and Amanda took another sip of coffee.

“Well, you came at a great time,” Lina went on. “The new guy, Ben Hargreeves, the one I told you about?” After a nod from Amanda, Lina said, “Well, he was allowed out of solitary confinement a few days ago, and he and Gin are getting along really well.”

Amanda raised her brows, lips parting in a grin. “That’s great news! I was so worried he’d be locked away forever, poor thing. And the, uh . . .” she mimed tentacles sprouting from her middle.

“He hasn’t released them in a week,” Lina confirmed.

“That’s good,” Amanda sighed. “Doctor Lewis was hopeful, that maybe with enough time and less threatening on our part, that Ben would relax and stop attacking anyone who came in.”

That was brutal. Amanda hadn’t been allowed anywhere near the boy, but Lina had and had described what went on in detail to the other woman. Apparently, tentacles shot out of little Ben Hargreeves’ stomach and went wild on anything and anyone. They had to replace several furnishings due to the outbursts (luckily, they didn’t have to replace any doctors, but one unlucky man ended up in critical condition for trying to force medicine down the patient’s throat).

“So where do they need me today?” Amanda asked, taking her last sip of coffee and throwing it away.

“Kitchen duty is full,” Lina said as she typed at her computer. “Cleaning duty has one position open. Patient handling is pretty lax today, wanna go there?”

Amanda grinned. “Sure.” She liked hanging out with the patients and helping where she could. She might even get to see Gin for a while.

She threw Lina a lazy salute in parting and walked hurriedly for the lockers. Within minutes, her stuff was put away, her hair was tied up, and she was standing in the middle of the breakout room where some patients were already grouping together and playing games.

Amanda didn’t expect for a crowd of patients and doctors to be hovering outside the video game room.

Curious, she shuffled closer to get a better look at what all the commotion was about. The closer she got, the more she was noticed by the outliers. One man in particular, whom she recognized, came up to her and handed her a clipboard.

She grabbed the clipboard from the passing regular, Felix, who was switching with her for the day, and she nodded towards the crowd. “What’s going on with that?”

Felix grinned, which wasn’t something she was very fond of. His smiles always led to something being on fire or mischief being had. She groaned.

“What is it this time? Do I need to call for someone?”

“Far from it,” the man laughed. “If you do, they’ll probably go ape-shi--”

She pressed a firm hand against his lips with a glare. “Swearing is a no-no, Felix. You know that.”

He mumbled something behind her hand with a roll of his eyes. She released him, but gave him a warning look.

“As I was _saying_ ,” he grumped, “the big guys would go crazy if you told them. This is the first time that he’s been docile, so let him.” He shrugged.

Amanda furrowed her brows. “What? Who is?”

The smile returned, and Amanda’s unease grew.

“See for yourself.”

He flounced down the hall and for the exit, done for the day. Amanda drew her attention to the game room.

“Excuse me,” she said, pressing through the crowd and being as swift and gentle as she could. Patients were a little harder to pass, since most of them did not like being touched even with taps (her eyes drifted specifically to Chuck as she passed, the boy squirting Germ-X into his palm and--how did he get that? She’d need to confiscate it again--).

She made it to the entrance of the game room, and slowed to a surprised stop when she saw what was inside.

The first thing she noticed was Gin, long blond hair tied up behind . . . _their_ head (gotta remember). They sat on the beanbag chair with a Wii controller strapped to their wrist and was laughing hysterically at something.

What made her stop was the tentacled monster that held a Wii remote and was--she assumed--attempting to play Wii Sports while Ben Hargreeves read a book quietly on the couch.

She didn’t know what to do. The monster wasn’t attacking anyone, just fiddling with buttons and wildly waving the remote around as the avatar flipped back and forth on the screen crazily (they were playing the tennis level). Gin was the happiest she had seen them in months, not since Chuck had his incident and Beth had to leave the hospital for a while because of expenses. 

On the other hand, she had been trained to call a higher up if Ben let his monster out. No one had done so yet, and it didn’t look like the on-call doctors were going to, either. Everyone was just . . . staring. Amanda included.

“What . . . What?” she heard herself ask.

Ben glanced up from the book and gave a shy wave at all the people crowding the room, curling into himself, but not seeming too bothered. He must have known they were all there.

“Amanda,” Gin greeted with a big grin. Amanda startled when her . . . sibling came up to her and hugged her tight. She stood frozen, stiff as a board, not having expected the unusual greeting.

Gin hated her. They’d said it enough times by now for her to believe it. Had she eaten something that disagreed with her? Was she still asleep? What dimension did she fall into for this to all be happening.

She tensed further as a long, slender tentacle snaked its way away from the Wii and wiggled at her curiously.

Seriously. What the hell was going on?

“Klaus, shut up,” Ben Hargreeves groaned, dropping his book to rub his eyes tiredly. And that’s what broke Amanda out of her shock.

Was the boy experiencing more vivid hallucinations today? Was it affecting his sleep? Or was the lack of sleep affecting the hallucination?

She probably needed to call in a doctor. But a lot of the doctors were already there. No one had even entered the room before she did.

“Um . . .” she patted Gin awkwardly and ignored the fluttery feeling in her chest. “Thank you, Gin.”

“Where were you Thursday?” they asked, stepping back to look in her eyes. “You missed out on getting to meet Ben.”

She winced. Thursday was . . . not a good day. Lots of accusations were thrown around, and she might have gotten disowned by their dad. Amanda didn’t want to tell Gin that, though. Instead, she said, “Sorry about that. Family conference.”

Gin’s face soured nonetheless, and she tried not to feel guilty about that. “I assume I wasn’t invited?”

Amanda smiled apologetically and Gin sighed.

“Well, not like I care about them anymore,” they waved her forward. “Come meet Ben, Jamin, and Klaus. I’m sure you’ve heard some exciting stories.”

“Gin,” Ben waved the other over and gestured to the air next to him. “Tell Klaus to stop being an idiot.”

Amanda pursed her lips, but Gin just smiled. “Klaus, stop being an idiot.”

Ben turned a smug smile on the air and Amanda could have sworn she heard an affronted gasp. She startled at the unexpected sound, and Gin chuckled at her side.

“Ben, Jamin, and Klaus,” Gin pointed to Ben first, the tentacle monster, and finally the air. “Meet my big sister Amanda.”

Ben threw her a shy grin and a wave, then glared at the air, “I am not repeating that.”

“Amanda?” Gin gestured to the “three”. Amanda gave them a polite nod, sweat forming on the back of her neck.

“Yes, pleasure to meet you.” She turned to Gin. “It’s time for you and Ben to take your pills.”

The monster under Ben’s ribs rumbled and the tentacles wiggled uncomfortably close. She backed up a step nervously.

“Oh, come on,” Gin rolled their eyes. “Jamin never gets let out! Ben was finally allowed to let them front and no one has bothered them yet. Just a few more minutes at least?”

Amanda watched as Ben got into an argument with his dead brother which ended in a peel of laughter. “No.” She narrowed her eyes at Gin. “Front?”

Gin nodded. “Yeah. They picked up the term from Beth. Or, well, Dan, I think. I wasn’t totally sure who was speaking, but it seemed to be Dan pretending to be Beth?”

“So . . . _Jamin_ ,” she bit her lip when the monster purred at the acknowledgement of its name. “Thinks that they are part of a DID system?”

“Not really,” Gin scratched . . .their head (gotta remember . . .). “You’d have to ask Ben and Jamin.”

“Right . . .” She stood up straighter and cleared her throat, trying to appear more confident than she felt. “Well, come on. You two . . . or, three? need to let someone else play anyway. Medicine, then we can chat. Sound good?”

Gin grumbled something under their breath, and Ben snorted at something unsaid.

“Klaus hates the idea of leaving the _fun room_ ,” he explained. “But I would love a nice, _quiet_ chat.” He laughed.

Amanda found her own lips twitching in a small smile. It didn’t help that Gin smiled just as warmly. Just who was Ben Hargreeves, and how had he been able to break through Gin’s walls so fast?


	2. Lina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lina has been working here for a while now. But surprises keep turning up now that Ben Hargreeves came to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy!  
> This chapter kind of just wrote itself haha.

For the first five months of Lina’s stay in Canada, she had honestly thought that nothing could ever go wrong. Her apartment was clean and she had enough money for rent  _ and  _ good food, and her landlady was the sweetest old woman she had ever met. Her cat loved lounging near the gas heater in the corner that she had bought, and the place was really starting to feel like  _ home _ . After Amsterdam, that was quite the feat.

Her job was great, too. She worked an easy job at the front desk of a mental hospital filing papers and taking calls, and sometimes she got to see or even talk to some of the patients (they would ask her to present a new, friendly face to some who didn’t trust the doctors and nurses yet). Sometimes she was visited by patients, who were either curious or just wanted to be alone with a quiet presence nearby. She wasn’t allowed to talk to them unless they spoke to her first, but she greatly enjoyed the visits.

And then . . . Ben Hargreeves arrived at the hospital.

Ben Hargreeves wasn’t a bad kid--far from it. Compared to some of the others in the facility, Ben was near a saint.

Didn’t mean her job didn’t become ten times harder, or that life turned inside out and upside down.

Ben had been wheeled into the hospital and immediately been locked in solitary for  _ months _ . There was a military team that walked the halls at all hours, and she frequently had to be checked at the door.

Of course, it wasn’t more of an annoyance until she was asked to calm the boy and really knew what fear could be.

Lina was fine with helping now and again, but something about Ben terrified her. A presence of some sort lingered in the air around the sweet boy which made Lina want to curl away and disappear. 

When the tentacles sprouted from his stomach, Lina had--shamefully, as she looked back on it--fled the scene in absolute horror. When she found out Ben’s nickname had been the Horror, well . . . she hadn’t really been surprised.

When she was brought in  _ again _ to keep Ben calm, she nearly refused. It took having military men stationed outside the door while she talked to little Ben.

“Miss Lina,” Ben said, head rolling to the side so he could look at her from where he was laying on the pristine white bed. “If I told you that I could see my dead brother, what would you say?”

Lina learned a lot more about shy Ben Hargreeves after that. How he and his dead brother were the best of friends, even beyond the grave. How Ben had no control over the monster in his belly and how he was terrified of what they could do. How he hated his dad for what happened in his childhood. How he loved to read but needed more interests. How he missed his little sister.

(“Miss Lina, have you ever done something that was so terrible, so horrible, that it would take more than an eternity to atone for it?”)

Lina grew fond of the boy . . . but that didn’t mean she would believe his claims of seeing his brother, nor would she lose that fear of the monster in his stomach.

Ben was at the hospital to get better. He hallucinated his brother, which was the least of his problems but the most obvious. Lina was just the receptionist. She was in no means qualified to say yea or nay to something so serious.

She didn’t feel that it was right to keep him locked in solitary for so long, however dangerous he was. He seemed to have a pretty good control over his belly beast, but keeping him away from the others seemed like a bad idea. It would make him think that he wasn’t safe here.

Lina had brought it up with those that would listen (mostly she talked to Amanda, since the other woman always took time to talk to her), but things hadn’t changed.

Until today, apparently, as Ben came up to her around noon after lunch had been served to the patients. Behind him stood Gin, who was watching them curiously.

“Ben,” she said in surprise, sitting at her desk at the front. She turned fully to greet him, abandoning the work she was doing in favor of speaking with him.

Ben gave a hesitant smile. “Hi, Miss Lina. Um . . .”

She waited patiently for what he had to say. Ben just needed someone to be patient with him, let him know that someone is listening and wants to know what he has to say. True to form, Ben let his smile grow and said, “Thank you for all that you did for me.”

Lina blinked, taken aback by the gratitude. “Oh, you’re most welcome, Ben. But you should know that I was asked to come in.”

“I know,” he nodded, self-consciously tugging at his long sleeves. “But you stayed.”

A warm, fluttery feeling settled in her chest and she found her smile softening. “Of course. You’ve been the highlight of my week.”

The blush that crept up Ben’s neck was adorable, and she had to hold back the instinctive coo. The boy was almost eighteen; no need to embarrass him further.

His smile vanished, however, when he rolled his eyes and said, “And Klaus says you should really make a move soon.”

Lina furrowed her brows. That came out of nowhere. “Make a move on what?”

Ben blushed again and yelled at the air, “I’m not saying that, you idiot!” Ben sighed and hid behind a hand. “That girl you talk to a lot? Klaus mentioned a lot that he loves watching you be awkward around her. It’s a . . .” he paused as he noticed just how red Lina had become. “Miss Lina?”

Lina fanned her face, feeling as though the room became ten times warmer in the last few minutes. “I-I didn’t tell you about that. How did you know about that?” she squeaked.

“Like I said. Klaus wouldn’t shut up about it. He said that it’s been a ‘will-they won’t-they” for  _ months _ and he’s just dying to know the end result in his Lina and Amanda soap (shut up Klaus, that was unintentional). Considering his only entertainment is what goes on in this hospital, he’s kind of invested in the lives of others a little too much.”

“Amanda?” Gin pounced on the name. “As in the volunteer that comes here?”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded and Lina wanted to curl up and die, she was so embarrassed.

“That’s my older sister,” Gin gave a scowl. “She was supposed to come today.”

Ben herded Gin from the area and Lina’s heart sank as she heard Gin growling and angrily stomping away from Ben. Ben followed after them.

“Still think you should make the first move,” a voice at her side said. She whipped around, but there was no one there. Startled, she turned back around. She was alone.

Lina rubbed her eyes. How much sleep had she had last night? Perhaps she needed to get another coffee.

Yeah, coffee sounded nice.

The next week was a lot more chaotic, but in a good way. Ben and Gin made a unique pair, and Chuck and Beth were dragged into the messes they made. More often than not, Lina spent her time making calls out to patients’ families to let them know about the latest hubbub. A lot of patients were enjoying their stay, and Ben became something of a saint at the hospital. 

Thursday rolled around and things were going alright. Everything was calm, the morning chill brought in lazy morning smiles, and the only paperwork she had to take care of was patient transfers. She bought two coffees that morning: one for herself and one for Amanda.

(An excited thrill went through her as she thought about how she was finally going to do it. She was going to ask Amanda out on a date and hope that it turned out like she wanted.)

The screaming took her by complete surprise, and she was quick to fumble her way towards the game room, where patients were scrambling away from . . . Ben?

Oh. Ben.

Ben and a tentacled monster.

A tentacled monster that was aggressively grabbing at a Wii remote.

Lina came to a stop just outside the door, feeling faint. “Ben! What’s going on?”

Ben looked back at her and smiled. “Hey Miss Lina. Jamin wanted to front for a bit. They were curious about video games.”

Lina made a strangled sound as one tentacle waved at her. “Right, yes . . . Um, and why is Jamin outside of the uh . . .” she gestured to her stomach.

“They wanted to experience it themselves,” Ben shrugged. “I promise They won’t hurt anybody. If They do, They’re not allowed to front for a week.”

“Right, okay,” Lina nodded rapidly. “That’s good.”

She noticed Gin grabbing their own controller and sitting down.

“Gin?”

Gin glanced up. “Hey. I’m teaching Jamin how to play.”

“Um.”

Gin grinned. “Wanna join?”

Lina shook her head slowly, curls bouncing. “No, no, that’s alright. Um . . . Have fun?”

They all gave a thumbs up, including Jamin (who gave a tentacled “thumbs up”). Lina paused in the doorway for a good while, but when nothing happened other than Wii Sports loading on the television, she turned around and went right back to her desk.

It was a little while later that Amanda arrived.

From there, things got strange. Ben and Jamin seemed to be getting along better. So did Gin and Amanda. They were sitting together and talking and eating and things were near picture perfect. 

Ben fed Jamin weird things on his plate like a dinner roll and some mashed potatoes, even though Lina and all the others in the hospital knew that the monster liked fresh meat. Jamin seemed content enough.

Gin and Amanda were smiling. Amanda had gotten a  _ hug _ . Amanda was remembering Gin’s  _ pronouns _ . Their family life wasn’t brought up once.

(Amanda had caught Lina staring a few times, and Lina did her best to ignore the flush on her skin.)

“Thank you for not calling the military, Miss Lina,” Ben said later that afternoon. “Jamin had a good day. I doubt They’ll want to front soon, and giving them something non-violent to do really helped.”

“O-Oh,” Lina bit her lip. She forgot, with everything strange going on, that she was supposed to call in for back up if the Horror was released. It just . . . slipped her mind.

Now she felt guilty. If she had remembered, would she have made the call? Would it have changed the day entirely? Most likely, it would have. Gin and Amanda wouldn’t have talked. Jamin wouldn’t have been introduced to something non-violent. Ben would be locked away yet again and for who knows how long. Lina hid behind her bangs.

Ben reached out and squeezed her hand, making her look up at him. He grinned. “I know that you’re a good person. Even if you had called them in, it would have been because you were afraid for the others. You’re just like that.”

He was too sweet. Too caring. It made her want to cry.

He stood back and gave her one last, lingering smile. Before he could walk away, though, he snapped his fingers. “Oh, by the way. Klaus says you should go for it with Amanda.”

Heat spread across her cheeks. “Y-Yeah?”

Ben gave her a firm nod.

Sometimes, Lina wasn’t sure who was helping who: Ben, or herself.

(She did end up going on that date with Amanda. It was the best night of her life.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amanda's and Lina's POVs kind of went hand in hand. Next time it'll be different, pinky promise.  
> (PS, lemme know if y'all want the Date written out)


	3. Dr. Richard Lewis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Richard Lewis is many things, but a single-minded man he is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I will not lie, a lot of what is discussed in this chapter I needed someone to tell me. So. I'm gonna tell Ben lmao

For the longest time, Richard Lewis followed the traditions of those before. He was told that “this” way was the correct way and there was no other way. His education in the medical field did not sway him from that ideal, only strengthened it. It wasn’t until he actually went out into the field,  _ really _ practiced what he was taught, that he realized the whole system was a load of bullshit.

Sixty-seven years old, and he was still learning and absorbing as much as he could to help others. People didn’t know  _ shit _ , and he wasn’t exempt from that. Try as he might, though, he was getting on in years and he only had so much time to study and practice. He just prayed that he’d get to continue learning long after he retired and blasted dementia didn’t get in the way.

So it was with great disappointment that he was sent to a Canadian mental hospital because they needed the “best of the best” to help with something specific that they couldn’t discuss over the phone. He knew what it really was. He was too old to practice in the facility he had been working in for so long. They needed “newer ideas”, youthful faces that encouraged the mentally unstable patients to speak about what was troubling them.

However, with most things that he was new to, he took the job seriously and did his best to read up on his duties. His research hadn’t stopped, he just added more articles from the area on how best to help.

That was how he found out about the Umbrella Academy.

Sure, he had heard of superheroes before. There was that group that stopped the Eiffel Tower from shooting into space. He didn’t realize there were  _ child _ superheroes in Canada. He didn’t like it.

And then Ben Hargreeves was listed as one of his patients.

Ben had been there for a few weeks before Dr. Lewis arrived. He was a massive problem for the other doctors, and Richard had assumed that it was an anger issue that became destructive. Or maybe the patient lied, hid pills, and overdosed. Or perhaps he just flat out refused to speak to anyone about anything and remained a loner within the hospital, never getting better or making any progress.

Ben, however, was none of those things. Ben was the most  _ fascinating _ patient Richard had had in years. And not just because he had an interdimensional being in his tummy.

Though that was a factor.

No, it was in the clear familial issues, especially towards his father, that really intrigued Dr. Lewis.

He had been informed that Ben was convinced his dead brother, Klaus, was still with him, even in death. That Klaus’s ghost was somehow following him around, and he was the only one who could see him. He was told it was a form of schizophrenia, with auditory and visual hallucinations. However, Klaus was the only hallucination that Ben saw.

Richard believed Ben.

He had seen many crazy things in his life. Heard of even crazier stuff. Ben alone was a testament to some of the crazy (really, a monster in his stomach, and people thought  _ he _ was the loony one?).

Of course, he didn’t come to a conclusion about his diagnosis until he looked deeper into Ben’s situation.

Reginald Hargreeves was paying a  _ ridiculous _ amount of money to keep Ben in the hospital. “For as long as it takes”, the report had said. However, Richard could read between the lines. Hargreeves wanted his son to stay in the hospital indefinitely, and was funding the higher ups to keep it quiet.

Another thing: Klaus Hargreeves, who had been in the news papers recently, was the acclaimed Séance. He could talk to ghosts, and, like Ben, was part of the superhero team that Hargreeves had started. So, really, who was to say that Ben’s “hallucination” wasn’t the real deal, and that Klaus Hargreeves was more than what he had seemed?

Richard had a theory, but he didn’t want to say anything about it until he had concrete evidence. In the meantime, he had gotten in Ben’s good graces.

“Good morning, Ben,” Dr. Lewis smiled warmly as he sat down in front of his patient. “I see that you took my advice to heart.”

Ben nodded where he was seated, eyes locked on the doctor. It had taken a while for Ben to open up and stop acting so hostile towards Richard. The doctor didn’t mind. He took time to really get to know Ben, didn’t even bring in his notes most of the time. Ben was a curious figure, and Richard wanted to piece the puzzle together before he came to a conclusion.

“Jamin liked the games,” Ben said softly, squirming in his seat. His eyes darted to a space behind the doctor, and Richard had to force himself not to glance back.

“I’m glad,” Richard crossed one leg over the other and folded his hands together. “And Klaus?”

Ben was always so surprised when the doctor brought up Klaus. At first, he had been hesitant and cautious, thinking that Richard was like the rest. It took a long time of Richard just sitting and listening, without taking a single note, for Ben to open up about his deceased brother. Klaus seemed to be just as interesting, if not more chaotic. What an odd pair.

“He had fun trying to teach Jamin how to play, since tentacles can’t read, according to him,” Ben shrugged. “They understand everything I do, so I don’t really get why he thought that. But They were happy for the help all the same. They really like Klaus.”

“So you’ve said before,” he chuckled. “Anything you would like to talk about today?”

Ben shrugged again and fiddled with his fingers. Dr. Lewis raised a brow. There was something, but Ben was nervous. Time to change the subject and put the spotlight elsewhere.

“I read up on immersion therapy today,” he said, leaning back in his chair and casually explaining to the boy about what he had been up to. “Of course, I think it’s a load of bollocks. Though, who am I to say if it works or not? The tests are inconclusive, anyway. Some say it works, some say the fear grows.”

“Klaus says it doesn’t,” Ben blurted. Richard paused, waiting for Ben (or Klaus) to say more. “Immersion therapy. Doesn’t work.” Ben blushed. “I’m not really sure how it would, either. Why force yourself in a situation that makes you scared?”

Richard nodded along. “Wise words. The theory is that once you are faced with your fear, that you realize that it’s not as scary as you had thought.”

“ _ Like you said, doc, bollocks _ ,” a soft voice over his right shoulder said.

He had been hearing that voice for a few weeks. He immediately knew it to belong to Klaus. For reasons unknown, he was proud to be hearing the ghost. It almost felt as though Klaus were trusting him, too.

Although, he didn’t let it show that he had heard. It wasn’t very often or for long that he heard Klaus. Just snippets, here and there. He didn’t want the newfound trust (or whatever it was) to shatter.

Ben screwed up his nose like he had smelled something bad. “Maybe if you were afraid of bugs or something. But heights? Abuse? People? Someone could get hurt, or worse. I think it’s fine to be afraid of some things, and not go searching after it.”

“What about those who don’t fear it?” he asked. “Do you think they should fear things more?”

Ben frowned in thought. “Maybe . . . be more cautious? No one is completely without fear, but it’s one thing to be brave and another to be an idiot.”

Richard’s lips twitched up. “And if they aren’t afraid of you?”

Ben’s gaze darkened and his curtain of black bangs shifted over his eyes. “That’s different.  _ Everyone _ should be afraid of me.  _ I’m  _ afraid of me . . .”

The doctor hummed and said, “Have I ever told you the story of when I lost my little sister?”

The whiplash was enough to bring Ben’s eyes back up, shame and guilt replaced with confusion.

“We were ten and five, respectively. I was walking her home from school. My parents told me, there and back. No dallying. But I had promised my friends I would go with them to the cinema. I was tired of looking after my annoying, baby sister. So, I took her with me to the cinema and had her sit far, far away from me and my friends. It was a war film, you see, and that scared my little sister. She ran from the cinema before it ended. I didn’t notice until we were walking out.”

Ben sat forward, completely focused on the story.

“I panicked. Guilt and worry and  _ fear _ had me looking for her for hours. I was sick with concern that something dreadful had happened. Perhaps she had gotten abducted. Or she had gotten lost in the woods. Maybe even ended up dead somewhere, all alone and scared. Alone and scared like I was.

“I was a terrible brother, then. I couldn’t find her. I didn’t even care if I got into trouble. My baby sister was missing and I had been laughing with my friends when it happened.”

“What happened?” Ben whispered, eyes wide. “Did you ever find her?”

Richard smiled, warm and pleasant. “Not until I got home. Apparently, she had run all the way back. I got a good lashing for it, too.” He chuckled. “The reason I tell you this is because I want you to understand. Just because bad things have happened to you or to the ones you love, doesn’t mean you are a bad person. My sister forgave me as soon as I apologized and gave her an icy treat. It took me much longer to forgive myself.”

Ben looked doubtful. “Nothing  _ bad _ happened to me . . .”

“No?” Richard sat forward. “You lost not just one, but  _ two _ brothers. Your relationship with your siblings is rocky at best, yet you’re the most adored. Your father locked you away in the crazy bin because you said you could see someone you loved beyond death. You have a monster in your gut that your father monopolized for his own gain.”

Ben opened his mouth to retort, but came up short.

“Ben,  _ bad things have happened _ . Bad things will most likely continue to happen. That doesn’t mean that  _ you _ are bad, or that you are not deserving of forgiveness.  _ Everyone _ is deserving of forgiveness. It just depends on the person whether or not they accept their own forgiveness.”

“But . . .” Ben licked his lips and gestured at his middle. “But this . . .”

“Those that have been hurt because of your ability,” Richard nodded. “It’s scary. But it wasn’t your  _ fault _ . I need you to understand that, Ben. Your father was responsible for forcing your hand in that. Tell me, what would he have done if you hadn’t complied?”

“He would . . . take me to special training. Sometimes it involved the others. For precision control. But the others had to deal with that, too--”

Richard held up a hand. “We won’t go into details about that today.” Ben was working himself up, and Dr. Lewis didn’t want him to have an attack. “It’s quite alright. But yes, your father didn’t tolerate you not using your ability. He forced you to do bad things, things you didn’t want to do.”

“Well . . .”

Richard sighed and slowly got to his feet, joints cracking as he went. Just then, the door opened and the nurse walked in with Ben’s medication. Right on time.

“Well, what we talked about should give you something to chew on. Hopefully next time we will have a longer conversation,” Richard said. As he passed the nurse, he saw a flicker in the corner of his eye.

It resembled a person.

Richard took a brief moment to pause and look at the spot, studying it in case he might see it again. Perhaps not.

He smiled despite himself. Something to chew on, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, I really love Dr. Lewis. He's the baddest bitch in the whole hospital. He's British, he swears, he dgaf, and he will call you out on your bullshit. He will most likely make a reappearance . . . several times.


	4. Gary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary had seen some crazy shit. Nothing like this, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~  
> This one is a shorter one, but I promise the next will more than make up for it.  
> TW: Blood, gore, corpse face (ew Klaus, gross), drowning in blood . . . Also, a poor, hapless janitor that didn't sign up for this

Gary had seen some shit in his time. The craziest was probably the lightning tornado in Wisconsin. The mildest was the chicken that pooped out a golden egg (he found out it was actually his little brother playing a prank on him when he found the gold paint out back. They both got a whooping for it and the county fair lost it’s main attraction).

He’d seen  _ actual _ crazy when he got the janitorial job at St. Gertrude’s. Children screaming at doctors, at others, at nothing. He’d seen teens shit their pants and wonder how it happened. He’d seen young adults stare at nothing and become unresponsive to everything around them.

Of course, he couldn’t call them crazy out loud. St. Gertrude’s was a hospital for children and teenagers. Apparently, calling them “crazy” was damaging to their brains or whatever. It was none of his business. He just cleaned the floors and shit and drool.

He started calling the hospital itself crazy when that one Asian kid came in.

Gary started cleaning more than just shit and barf. Now he was cleaning blood and limbs off the floor. They told him he was lucky that he wasn’t cleaning  _ organs  _ and  _ discarded halves of bodies _ .

Apparently, the Asian kid was Ben Hargreeves, otherwise known as The Horror in Canada. One of those superhero kids that became super famous after the Eiffel Tower thingy. He went insane after one of the other kids died and was sent to the hospital.

Gary had no idea what possessed the hospital to keep something so terrifying around.

He had asked around, one time, on why they didn’t put the monster down and be rid of it. One of the doctors had taken him aside and shown the zeros the kid’s father was paying to keep him there for the rest of his life. He shut up after that.

With that kind of money, he, too, would keep an eldritch horror locked up. Didn’t mean he had to interact with it, though.

What made it worse was that a lot of the doctors and nurses actually started  _ liking _ the beast. More and more often, he saw it wandering around outside of its host in the halls and gaming rooms. The host would be talking to the others around the building. The nice lady at the front even  _ hugged _ him. The hospital had surely lost its marbles.

He should have known it would only be a matter of time before he lost it, too.

Standing--or, well, more like  _ floating _ \--at the end of the hallway was a teenager, outlined in blue, with curly black hair and sharp green eyes. Or maybe brown. His outfit was . . . odd. A schoolboy uniform meant for someone much younger than his current age. He was staring right at Gary, excitement clear in his raised brows and wide grin. 

“Can you see me?” he asked, and Gary rocked back on his heels.

The teen giggled and twirled closer. Gary shuffled his mop closer as though it were a shield.

“This is amazing! Do you know how long I’ve been practicing, trying to get you to see me?” He rubbed his hands together. “Oh man, Ben is going to  _ love _ this! Hey, can you be a witness, or whatever, so my brother can get the hell out of here?”

Gary’s veins froze and his breath caught painfully in his chest.

The teen’s features began to deteriorate in front of Gary’s eyes, his green-but-maybe-brown eyes dimming to a white sheen. His face paled further, turning transparent, to the point that Gary could have sworn he saw the boy’s skull. Blood dribbled from white lips and a bird-fragile chest and puddled on the floor. Gary could  _ see through _ large holes in the boy’s torso and to the wall behind him.

The teen tried to say more words, but it only came out as a gargled, gasping thing. crimson sprayed across Gary’s face, making him flinch. The being coughed, but it did nothing more than drizzle more liquid down to the ground below.

He was witnessing a teenager drown in his own blood.

The lights flickered overhead. The blue haze around the boy faded, and the teen’s visage fluttered briefly before disappearing like he had never been there. Gary’s knees shook.

He stayed stuck to the spot for what felt like hours, eyes never leaving the place the boy had been. Nothing else happened. The lights went back to normal. The white hallway was just as boring as it had always been.

Gary avoided the hallway after that. He put in his resignation at the end of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Klaus out here tryin' to terrorize the locals (also, yes, that was totally reminiscent of his death, he just doesn't remember it).  
> Thank you for reading!! The next chapter is going to be FANTASTIC (also, another journal entry, stay tuned--)  
> (Edit: The rating went up because of the blood and gore. Dammit Klaus, making a mess of things--)


	5. Klaus (Bonus+Journal Entry)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus finds Vanya's letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiii  
> I rushed this. Please don't be mad at me ;-;  
> TW: mentions of human experimentation. I mean, body is dead, but still--not cool, Reggie

Klaus had been . . . experimenting lately. He was talking to people, alive people. Whether he was seen or not was much harder to predict, as it sometimes happened without him thinking about it. He realized it happened a lot more when he felt comfortable or safe around someone. Obviously, with Ben he was most comfortable and “safe”. With others, though . . .

Dr. Lewis had looked at him a few times. He didn’t say anything, though, which was weird. He just smiled kindly and moved on. For some reason, that eased Klaus’s nerves.

Amanda and Lina had heard him plenty of times, but he could never get them to see him. He felt comfortable around them, but perhaps not “safe”? Each time he tried to force it, it made him nauseous and tired, which was a  _ weird  _ experience for a ghost.

Gin . . . Gin was an interesting case. Klaus wasn’t sure if they could hear him or see him, but it always  _ felt _ like they did, in some way. They never actually  _ saw _ him, though. Or heard him speak. It was like they were connected on a certain wavelength and just  _ understood _ .

The janitor, though. That was the first time Klaus had spoken to someone other than Ben and gotten a response. It was also the first time he had been able to force himself into the real world, if only for a little while. The janitor had seen him!

Of course, he had then bled all over the place in a horrifying mock of his death. It got fuzzy once the holes opened up, but he thought he tried to say something? He wasn’t sure. He “fell asleep” soon after that, and didn’t wake back up for a long time. Ben had gotten really worried, and Klaus had to reassure him he wouldn’t do it again unless necessary.

He didn’t like the feeling of “falling asleep”.

He didn’t like a lot of things, of course. He didn’t like that he could still see ghosts even after death. He didn’t like that he had no way of busting Ben out of the hospital other than convincing the doctors that his brother was totally sane and Klaus could prove it (eventually). He didn’t like that he could talk to the ghosts like they were normal people.

That was a new one. They still treated him differently, as though he were someone highly important but confusing. He was one of them, but . . . not. That was how they described him.

The craziest thing was that he was able to order them to do things while dead. And they  _ listened _ to him. He wanted to be left alone? They wandered off to do their own thing. He asked questions? They were immediately answered. He wanted the ghosts to pick something up, report to him about something, or keep an eye on Ben while he went to another part of the building? They didn’t hesitate to comply. And they always looked weird when he commanded them. They got a kind of glazed look and their movements were too stiff, as though they were puppets.

He didn’t like that at all.

Of course . . . it did have it’s perks. Such as now, as he was sneaking back into the Hargreeves mansion (more like drifting in, because no one could see him anyway unless he wanted them to), a lovely woman named Nancy--who had died of a heart attack back in 1922 when the mental hospital was just a hospital--and a gentleman by the name of Breaker--who did not, in fact, break things, but rather liked to play catch with his toy poodle Fifi using his femur (Fifi either hadn’t noticed she died, or had stayed loyally by Breaker’s side even in death)--were keeping watch for him.

How’s that for lookout duty, Dad?

It was late, probably around three in the morning. All the lights were out aside from the kitchen. Klaus stopped there first.

Luther was playing around with some kind of doughy substance at the counter. Mom was humming an old lullaby that Klaus vaguely remembered and was prepping the oven.

“What are you two doing?” Klaus mumbled.

“What was that, dear?” Mom asked, turning around. Klaus snapped his jaw shut. Her eyes passed over him.

“I didn’t say anything,” Luther said. “Are you alright?”

“My systems are functioning perfectly, my dear,” Grace smiled wide and resumed her task.

Klaus left the kitchen.

As he wandered the halls of the mansion, he noticed something strange. No one was in their rooms. He thought it was weird that Luther was still up with Grace, but where was everyone? They couldn’t  _ all  _ be up at this hour. 

(He avoided Reginald’s room and study. No need to check up on the old bastard.)

The room that made him really worry, however, was Allison’s. The makeup on her vanity was missing. Her favorite and most expensive dress was gone. Her bed was made and there was a little note.  _ Don’t look for me _ .

“What . . .?”

Klaus searched the other rooms more thoroughly: Diego’s knives were gone. Ben’s stuff had officially all been removed. Five’s room remained untouched, collecting dust. Klaus’s was the same, and they didn’t even chuck out the weed. Luther’s things were pristine, at least. And Vanya . . .

Vanya’s violin was gone.

That didn’t mean anything, though, right? Maybe she wanted some late night practice . . .  _ somewhere _ in the mansion. But no matter where he looked, he couldn’t find his mousy sister.

Worry filled him. What happened to everyone? Where did they all go?

It wasn’t a mission; Luther was still there. Vanya was missing, too, and she never went on missions, she was ordinary. And Allison’s note . . .

Did they . . . leave?

“Wow . . . those sons of bitches finally did it, huh?” Klaus laughed. He laughed and laughed some more. 

He spotted some lit candles by the entrance hall. 

Coming closer, Klaus found his old drawings, the ones he had done to show the others what the ghosts were like for him. They didn’t believe it, of course, but they had asked so he delivered. Bunch of cheapskates.

He also saw some of his things littered about a table. His domino mask, still with fragments of glitter (Reginald had been furious at that, but it brought a smile to his siblings’ faces, so it was worth it). His unicorn plush that hid a baggie of coke. That weird card a fan had given him that he had cherished (it was his first). Some newspaper clippings of him and the others . . .

“Holy shit, this is a shrine.”

In the center of the shrine, there was an envelope. In Vanya’s distinctive, curly cursive, the letter was addressed to  _ Klaus _ .

Carefully, Klaus took hold of the envelope. The paper was light in his hands. He opened it.

_ Klaus, _

_ I’m writing this letter to you as a way of expressing my doubts, fears, and sorrow. So much has changed since you went away. Ben went insane, thinking that you were still here. It got to the point that he was violent with others. Dad decided it was best to get him help elsewhere. _

_ No one talks anymore unless it’s to start a fight. Luther and Diego are on the verge of killing each other. Allison can’t mediate anymore. Nobody has listened to me in years, so I did nothing anyway. I wish you were here to crack a joke and diffuse the tension. _

_ Allison tried to be you. It didn’t work. It hurt more. I hated her for a bit. _

_ The worst thing is that I still expect you to walk through the door, high as a bat and giggling at something stupid while you trounce around on heels. It’s so surreal. You were a superhero, a member of the unbeatable Umbrella Academy! Why did you go? _

_ I can’t take the oppressive feeling in this house anymore. I’m leaving to find my own destiny, as a musician. It’s the only thing I’ve been good at, so why not make my dreams a reality in another way? _

_ I miss you so much. If I could go back in time like Five could, I would try my best to save you. No one would miss me much, so I’d switch places. That would be fine, right? Then things would go back to the way they were. _

_ I’m so sorry, Klaus. Please, if there’s a way for you to get my message, know that I loved you. I never got the chance to say it, so I’ll tell you now. _

_ Goodbye, Klaus, _

_ Vanya _

It rained that night.

_ January 08, 2007 _

_ The subject fascinates me at every turn. The scarring from the Horror has long since vanished. The only thing that remains is what I’ve done to it. Again, no signs of deterioration. But also, no signs of growth from the subject either. It’s as though it remains in a stasis, neither decaying or aging. _

_ Collecting samples from the subject was equally as enthralling. Organs grew back overnight. Skin would seal up again without needing stitching. Hair, however, would not grow back. It seems as though only essentials would be regrown. _

_ Pogo advised me not to remove fingers or toes, as it is all too possible that the subject would not regrow them. After all, a being can live without extremities. As for limbs, Pogo warned that I should not test it, as it could lead to something I could not go back from. I hesitate to do so, but have not ruled it out. _

_ Blood samples have not come back conclusive. But what might become of the world if I were to share such a gift? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Reginald will be shot into the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
